On my meds

Well I started my medication on Thursday, it's called Tamoxifen (I think I already mentioned that)... Well a few of the possible side effects the dr. informed me of were thinning of the hair, depression, and possible weight gain. He did stress that they are "possible" side effects and there are a few more but these were the ones he mostly discussed.

Ok, to start with the hair thinning. I have very thin hair to begin with, but I do have a lot of it (really it makes sense), my hair is also almost now down to my butt after being kept around shoulder length or shorter for a few years. Now in the big scheme of things I know this is not a big deal, but the vanity in me kicks in and I do worry about it. But I guess like everything else I will deal with that if/when I get there.

Then comes the depression..... Are you kidding me? I don't have time to be depressed. I haven't had time to be depressed since all this started and I can't start now. So far, even though it's only been 5 days, I seem ok. I'm not an easy crier and I hope that doesn't change. I can't be one of those that cries at long distance phone call commercials.

Last but definately NOT least is the "possible" weight gain. OMG are you REALLY kidding me?! The last thing I need is more weight, I actually have totally enough. I could share with those who need it and still be ok. Before all this started happening I was actually focusing on my weight, my eating habits, portions, exercise, etc. But then I really had/have to focus on my heath. Now the dr. did mention weight is/can be a big part of the cancer and why I got it. So I'm going to get back on track with that. And actually, since I've started the meds I have really, really, really, lost my appetite.

Those who know me know I am not a small girl, I am a pretty big girl. But I haven't always been that way and I don't plan on staying that way. I mean I've never been and never will be a size 1 or 3 but I know I can get to a decent size/weight/healthy area if I put my mind to it.

The fact that the meds are causing me to lose my appetite may seem like a good thing but it's not really, I mean I do like food. Here the past few days I have cooked/bought/went out for food that sounded good at the time but then after a few bites I'm done and just the thought of putting more in my mouth makes me gag.

Well it's late, and another thing I seem to not be able to sleep since starting th meds. I was up until 3 a.m. this morning watching the BFF BH 90210 Marathon on Soap Net. Gosh I miss those fights between Brenda and Kelly over Dylan. LOL

Ok, I am going to try and get some sleep because I have to get up early and take Jordan to school, and I need to start getting used to getting up at my normal time since I go back to work on Monday. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day and I'll catch you later.