Oncologist visit and getting out there....

Well I saw my oncologist today and we went over a lot of things. I got a copy of both of my pathology reports from him which I've really only glanced over but they are very interesting. You can see the difference in the two reports, I mean with what limited knowledge I have of the medical terminology. I am going to read more in depth when I have the energy to look up the big words... LOL

But bottom line is I will be taking Tamoxifen 2 times a day for anywhere from months or up to 5 years. I will also have to have radiation treatments. I didn't know this but they don't do it at Kaiser they have a place that contracts out to them called St. Theresa's. It's in Stockton and they will be calling me soon to set that up. So more on that when I know more. LOL

It seems like a lot to do but whatever will help is what I will do. I liked my oncologist his name is Dr. James Shum. He was born in China and moved to New York for college and medical school. He decided to move to California after 9/11, he was not very far from the towers when it happened and he told me about that. He is a very knowledgeable and interesting man.

I am trying to find more people to contact with my blog, and blogs to read myself. I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. Again, when I'm not so tired I will make more of an effort.

My dr. told me stories about people and different stages of cancer, he called mine not exactly a "real" cancer, (for lack of a better word)... He did tell me I did the right thing by going with my instinct, but that if I had waited 6 more months the DCIS would have probably had the same results, but getting it done when I did was good. I will not think twice EVER about going with my "gut" feeling. It wasn't a feeling, it was more than that. I can't really explain it but I knew waiting should not be an option. I don't trust myself on a lot of things, but if I ever get that gut feeling again I will so go with it.

Well I'm going to finish cleaning up the dinner dishes and watch me some Law & Order. LOL Nighty night.

Good news mixed with some bad news...

First the good news, I went to the dr. today and she walked in the door and first thing she said was the news is good. The pathology came back and they got it all out the second time around. Yay!!! I was happy to hear that. So my next question was where do I go from here.

She made me an appointment with my oncologist and I go there on Thursday... It will be up to him to review my case and see with my age, the testing on my tissue, and other things that drs test if I have to have radiation and/or take medication as a follow up. But as long as I don't have any more surgeries I will be glad to do whatever they tell me. I did have a little infection around the incision and she thinks it is due to my skin having a bad reaction to the tape they used. But to be safe she put me on Augmentin an antibiotic and I have an extra week off work.

And speaking of work, here's the bad news. I used up my sick leave from the last time I had surgery and so I put in a request for Catastrophic Leave Donation at work. Well the people who process that paperwork do it on a volunteer basis and no on did it last week so even though I was approved, it won't go into affect until the next period. So that means I have 28 hours of a normal 40 hour week that I can get paid for before disability kicks in. (Damn that 7 day waiting period!!!) So with that plus I get no sick time from Penney's I'm going to be screwed for a wihle.

And of course it's at my heaviest bill time. I do my bills in sections... My rent car insurance and PG&E bill on one paycheck (which is the one I'm going to be short on), then on the other one I do my car payment, the cell phones, my credit cards (ok I only have two but that's still $40 a month), and my satellite and internet/phone bill. I do have Joey who pays his own car insurance and cell phone bill and he buys groceries and stuff, but he also just spent a fortune on books and fees for Delta so I don't want him to worry (hence why I chose to not share this info with him)...

I feel so bad that he has to pay for his own college stuff, I mean I try to help as much as possible but according to the financial aid people I make too much money to get help... Ummmmm, I'd like them to show me where all this money is I make, because I'd like to spend it. LOL

Oh well I am not going to let that get me down. I'll manage, I always do. Nothing can take away my excitement of the dr. walking in and saying "Good news!!!" I'll post again Thursday on that appointment.

Yippeeeee!!!!!

The family I talk about...

Kaden blowing bubbles......
Kaden all tired and sleeping after the wedding reception...

Jordan, Joey, & Christopher....

Bite me beezy!!! You should have been in line!!!

I finally ventured out this morning and I went to Starbucks on March and I5... Well when you pull in there (in case you've never been) there are two driveways one for the Sbux d/t and one for the bank.Well there was a line in the Sbux and 2 cars sitting on the curb (a van and a car)... To me they looked like they were together and waiting for someone or each other.

Well from what I could see they weren't in line so I pulled into the Sbux line.Well the girl (not woman, she was no more than 19) started honking her horn getting out of her van and standing on her running boards yelling at me.... At this point I'm already in line and I'm not backing out. She then proceedes to pull up behind me and stick her head out the window and yell some more. Now had I been 100% I would have stuck my head back out and told her exactly where she could go and what she could do when she got there!!! But I'm still tired and sore so I just ignored her. Maybe next time she should be in line and this won't happen!!!

Worse than before....

OMG I had my 2nd surgery on Monday and it's worse than the first time. I don't know if it's because the area was still sensitive or what but I hurt still so bad. I finally got the nerve to take a shower around midnight last night but I didn't remove the gauze yet. I can tell already that there is a bruise there like no other. Last time I had a little bruise this time I can see the purple coming out from under the dressing.

Also, I'm really tired. By the third day last time I had at least got ready and went to eat. This time, not so much. I haven't even taken Jordan to school yet. Joey has done me the hugest favor by getting up early and taking Jordan to Franklin before he heads off to Delta. And that's a big deal considering they are woking on parking over there and it's a fight to get a spot if you're not there early.

I kinda wish I would have had to stay the night in the hospital, just because they wait on you hand and foot there. LOL Here I'm seeing all the stuff that needs to be done even though I can't do it and it's driving me crazy. Anyone want to clean my bathroom for me? Just kidding.

Well I'm beat, off to rest some more since I popped another pain pill and I feel it kicking in.

Puberty at 38?

OMG I have been getting the biggest, painful, annoying, long lasting zits that I have ever had in my life. Even when I was a teenager I didn't get very many pimples. I've had one little cluster on my chin that's been there for over a month. I don't know if it's stress, hormones, or what but I hope they go away. I find myself dipping into my 15 year old son's face wash and treaments.

Oh, well, at least I don't have to go through high school all over again and have the "cool" girls point and laugh. LOL

Another Surgery

Well here's an update for all... well both... of my readers. LOL I had an appointment with my surgeon the wonderful Dr. Grace Tay. When I had my post op she was on vacation visiting with Micky Mouse and the gang down south. But I was told waiting for her wouldn't harm me and since I'm so comfortable with her that is what I chose to do.

She has a wonderful way of explaining things to me that make me very relaxed and confident. While I do have to have surgery again, this Monday (08/18/08 6 a.m.) she is very optimistic that things will be ok. They have to go in and remove a little more tissue. No wire to guide this time but I will have a little more healing time since there is a bigger chance for infection. I will be off work for two weeks but that's ok. Whatever it takes to make me healthy.

The actual term for what I have is DCIS which stands for Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. One of the websites that I found explains it all very well (http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/dcis/), I've been doing lots of research.

The fact that it is non invasive is very promising. After the surgery I will have to see an onocologist and then my case will be examined and we will go over the next course of treatment. I will find out soon if I have to have radiation and how much, meds and what and how long.

So wish me well and know that I am being very positive, so much so that people are worried I am too calm (no I have not been put on anti-depressants as many people think)... I just know getting excited will not help and I need to do what has to be done to get myself 100% healthy.

Back to Work and Weekend Plans

Well I made it through my first week back to work, but man was it hecka exhausting!!! LOL I was only off for a week and 1/2 but that gave me enough time to get on a strict napping schedule. Ha, ha, ha... I did get sick one day but that had nothing to do with the cancer, I think it was tummy bug. I called in at the store but really had no choice. Everything is just normal and day to day right now until I get back to the doctor and schedule my next surgery and all that comes after that. There's nothing that can be done until then. I did go to a quincenera and a baptisim on Saturday, there I talked to a friend who went through what I am going through and more, she is 4 1/2 years out recovering... Sunday I went to see Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2 with Wendy, an old, great, friend of mine that I've reconnected with after a few years. Then we had lunch and talked for like hours... It was a great visit and I hope we do it again soon. Well off to do some of those dreaded household chores befoe I head back to work again tomorrow. Until next time, take care.

Strange coincidences...

Well I found out today that Christina Applegate (Married With Children, Jesse, Samantha Who?) was diagnosed with breast cancer too. While of course I don't know her total diagnosis it does sound similar to mine. The reason I say coincidence is that she and I share a birthday only I'm 2 years older, (and however many pounds larger LOL) but that is besides the point. Well anyway, I wish her well and will keep her in my prayers when I pray for myself as well. It just goes to show that I'm a single mom with 2 jobs just trying to make it in the world and it got me, she is a rich and famous movie/broadway/tv star and it hit her too. Cancer doesn't discriminate

The Beginning

I got the idea to blog from a couple of blogs I read. My blog heros are Jessica, my former sister in law and wonderful mother to my kids' cousins Evan and Calum, and Casey her BFF and a very great mother of triplet girls. My journey though is a little, well a LOT different from theirs.

On Thursday, July 31, 2008 I was told I have stage zero breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy a week before that for a lump and what was originally thought of as pre-cancerous cells. I will now have to have more surgery and radiation treatments and take pills for 2 years. More on that later when I get more information. My dr. is gone until the 15th and I will find out more details then.

This started in May when I had an itch on my boob. LOL Yes, of course I scratched it and when I did I felt something funny. At first I thought it was a mosquito bite but when I pushed harder I could tell it was much much more than that. So I made me an appointment with Kaiser where I had a mammogram and a ultrasound on May 21st in Modesto. After all this was done and the radiologist went over the reports (the MALE radiologist) he said yes, something was there (duh!) but with my age and their being no history of breast cancer in my family there was really nothing we should do about it. He said we should check back in 6 months. When I questioned that, he said we could check back in 3 months. I begrudginly agreed and left for home. Thinking back I should have asked him what he would have done had he found a strange lump on one or both of his nuts, but you know, hindsite and all. LOL

All the way home I had this nagging feeling in my stomach that this just wasn't the right thing to do. So the next day I discussed it with my friend/supervisor Peggy. She said if I wasn't comfortable I should do what I felt was right. So I get on the phone and make another appointmnet. This would set me off on a journey with people who I finally felt were understanding and wanting to help with my heath. The nurse practicioner who set me up with Dr. Grace Tay my surgeon. I feel I was led to her by some higher power because she was understanding, is pleasant, and very funny.

I finally did a needle biopsy and waited for the results. I was told it would be a week. Well 5 days later I get my results and was told it was not cancer but pre-cancerous cells that would need to be removed. This relieved me somewhat... But surgery!!! That freaked me out a bit, but I want to be healthy.

Well on Thursday, July 24, 2008 I go to Kaiser to have my lumpectomy. The whole experience went great as far as surgery can go. The desk clerks at the outpatient OR department were great. I had my own personal nurse Marie. She was a hoot!!! She made me feel so comfortable, she explained everything she did before she did it, she made me so comfortable, she told me stories to keep my mind of what was going on and kept me generally relaxed. And most people who know me know that I HATE dr.s and hospitals in general and am rarely relaxed even when it was just to take my kids to a routine appointment.

I'm admittedly not too good with asking for help or with bothering people with something when I think I can deal with it myself. I am very independent and that has helped me through so much in my life. It's hard to let go of that and be what I consider "needy". So I don't think I will do that. LOL But I do feel I have to have an outlet of some type, so that is what this will be.

Well this is very long so I'm going to finish up and continue later. Please visit my blog as much as you want and don't hesitate to comment. I have a journey that I am embarking on and I'm hoping blogging it will be cathartic for me and just give me an outlet to what I'm going through. So join me and see where it leads....