Well Christmas was really nice this year and I enjoyed the season. On Christmas Eve my kids go to their dad's and spend time with him and his family. I went to my cousin's apartment with my mom & my nephew and watched her kids and my other cousin open their gifts.
Christmas Day was fun because it was the first year that Kaden was really into it. He kept wanting "pesents" and would say "For me? I can open?"... I bought him some clothes and a new tricycle. I will post pictures soon when the weather is a bit better, I get him a helmet, and he can ride in my street. He can't pedal yet so he's so funny to watch doing it Flinstone style. I got some nice gifts, a watch I wanted from Joey and I got a new vacuum which I needed badly!!!
Last night I spent the night at Dameron Hospital. Jordan fell at basketball practice at Franklin and thought he broke his elbow. So my mom called me at work, I rushed to meet her at Dameron, and we waited. They x-ray'd his elbow and said there were no "obvious" fractures but the tissue was swollen and bruised. He couldn't put his arm straight because it hurt so bad so they put it in a splint and a sling and said to follow up with Kaiser the next day.
So, today we went to Kaiser and they said it was still too soon to x-ray again but he could move it a little more, but he still can't straighten out. He has to keep the splint on and in the sling and we have a new appointment on Monday for a new x-ray to make for certain there are no fractures.
I'm telling you this kid has had more x-rays than my other 2 put together. He broke his wrist 2 1/2 years ago playing basketball. There was a pen on the court/playground and he stepped on it and rolled and landed on his hand. He's always falling on his left hand too which is bad because he's left handed.
I'm thinking it won't be broken but we'll have to wait and see. If it is he will miss out on basketball and maybe baseball this season and we don't want that to happen.
Well I'm off to work, which is something I've been doing massively for the season. I'm so glad it's almost over. I say almost because we still have returns and after Christmas sales so we have yet to slow down. LOL
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Christmas Tree
I've been working 14-16 hour days for a few weeks not so I never really had a chance to get a Christmas tree. If I wasn't working I was exhausted, I mean I only started my Christmas shopping last Friday so you do the math.
Yesterday I finally decided I wasn't going to get a tree because I'd be the one doing all of the work with it anyway so why bother. Well Jordan must have wanted one because he said he would help put it up and take it down. So I worked today 5:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. and then went to a baby shower while Jordan was at his friends.
After I picked Jordan up from his friend's house I headed to S-mart to get one of their nice $19.99 trees. Well we pull up and of course, they are all out. So we got the only thing they had left.
Yesterday I finally decided I wasn't going to get a tree because I'd be the one doing all of the work with it anyway so why bother. Well Jordan must have wanted one because he said he would help put it up and take it down. So I worked today 5:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. and then went to a baby shower while Jordan was at his friends.
After I picked Jordan up from his friend's house I headed to S-mart to get one of their nice $19.99 trees. Well we pull up and of course, they are all out. So we got the only thing they had left.
I'm still trying to figure out how to put some lights on it.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Happy 16th Birthday Jordan...
Man 16... I can't believe my baby is 16. It just seems like yesterday he was born then went to kindergarten and started playing baseball and football and all the things little boys love to do. Kaden woke him up by telling him "Happy Bitday" (not misspelled) Jodan (again, not misspelled)... LOL
We went to his favorite place to eat Chili's and they came and sang Happy Birthday to him and brought him a milkshake. He was soooooooo embarrassed. LOL It's such a change because we went there once when he was little and he went to the bathroom and told me now was the time to tell the waitresses to surprise him by singing Happy Birthday and bringing him a shake. LOL I reminded him of that but he didn't remember.
He's not driving yet, and won't be for a while, he also is not working yet, and prolly won't for a while because he needs to concentrate on getting his grades up. I'm a little sad he's growing up so fast but I'm also glad I'm here to see it. So many things could have gone a worse way this year so I'm enjoying it all.
Happy Birthday Jordan!
Jordan on his 13th birthday......
Jordan May 12, 2006 with Kaden (oh yeah, and his broken wrist)... LOL
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Back to normal?
Well it's been a month since I finished radiation and things are getting pretty much back to normal. But it's a new normal, there is the normal before the cancer and the new normal after the cancer. I'm taking medication daily and I now have scars, physical and otherwise, that were not there before, my skin is still healing, it's a funny color and with my shirt off I can see the square area where the radiation went and I'm still peeling. It's almost like a sunburn peel but a little different.
I've gone back to working at the store lots of hours, just like I would any other holiday. I still can tire a little more easily than normal. I get bursts of energy where I feel like I could climb a mountain, the other day I cleared off my entire kitchen counters and wipped them down then I scrapped the grout of the tile and though, hey when I'm done I'll go do this in the bathroom. Well that did not happen, once I was done in the kitchen I was exhausted. LOL I'm trying to get back to cooking on my nights off and sometimes when I do I wind up leaving the dishes until the next day because I'm too tired to do them at night.
I'm a changed person in many ways, none that I think people will really notice or see on the outside but I can feel it.
I did see my oncologist a week ago and he said I'm doing great. I have to keep taking my pills and have a mammogram once year and be very aware of any changes to my breasts. He was on my for about 20 minutes about my weight, which I expected, but didn't care to hear. It's not like I think I'm thin. I know I'm fat, I know it's not good, I know it needs to be changed. I want to change it I really do, and I will when I'm ready. I'm looking into getting some walking shoes and starting there, I need a really good pair so I'll wait until after Christmas when I have the extra money for me. I've found a really good pair of New Balance that I am going to get me, they are actually running shoes but I've been told that's a good thing to get.
It's actually more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat badly... LOL I mean have you seen the price of fruits and veggies? Plus I'm not a big veggie fan so that is going to be a hard one to get in on a daily basis. But I will get it done. I know I can. After what I've been through, I can do ANYTHING!
I've gone back to working at the store lots of hours, just like I would any other holiday. I still can tire a little more easily than normal. I get bursts of energy where I feel like I could climb a mountain, the other day I cleared off my entire kitchen counters and wipped them down then I scrapped the grout of the tile and though, hey when I'm done I'll go do this in the bathroom. Well that did not happen, once I was done in the kitchen I was exhausted. LOL I'm trying to get back to cooking on my nights off and sometimes when I do I wind up leaving the dishes until the next day because I'm too tired to do them at night.
I'm a changed person in many ways, none that I think people will really notice or see on the outside but I can feel it.
I did see my oncologist a week ago and he said I'm doing great. I have to keep taking my pills and have a mammogram once year and be very aware of any changes to my breasts. He was on my for about 20 minutes about my weight, which I expected, but didn't care to hear. It's not like I think I'm thin. I know I'm fat, I know it's not good, I know it needs to be changed. I want to change it I really do, and I will when I'm ready. I'm looking into getting some walking shoes and starting there, I need a really good pair so I'll wait until after Christmas when I have the extra money for me. I've found a really good pair of New Balance that I am going to get me, they are actually running shoes but I've been told that's a good thing to get.
It's actually more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat badly... LOL I mean have you seen the price of fruits and veggies? Plus I'm not a big veggie fan so that is going to be a hard one to get in on a daily basis. But I will get it done. I know I can. After what I've been through, I can do ANYTHING!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Just a craptastic weekend...
The weekend started out not so good on Friday and continued from there. Without getting into it I just had a bad day Friday and had to take care of some stuff that I thought I had already taken care of but didn't... Not a good beginning....
I worked on Saturday for 4 hours and then had my grandson for the night, of course that was great.... But the day just went by too fast.
Then Sunday morning comes and my dad calls to let me know his mother, my grandmother passed away last night. She has had a few strokes and wasn't really doing well the past week or so and he told me last week he didn't think it would be long. So I'm sad and guilty all in one.
See, I used to go visit my grandmother in the first home they put her in and she would always say bad things to me, before that she used to give me birthday cards that said she knew I didn't like her or old people but here's a check for my birthday anyway...
Now I'm not trying to make her out to be a bad person, because she was not, but I had aunts and cousins that used to fill her head with lots of things about my dad and us while using her money for their food, rent, clothes, etc... My dad put a stop to that as soon as he found out.
But for some reason she would do and say these mean things to me. So I stopped going to visit her. Truth be told I have not seen her for over 4 years. And while I have felt bad about it, I just really couldn't handle the negative visits, even though I knew she was old and it wasn't her fault.
So now she's gone and my dad will not be having a service for her, he will prolly just bury her by his dad who has been dead for many years, way before I was ever even thought of, way before my parents even met. He said why have a service for people to come to when people didn't even come see her when she was alive. While he was not referring to me because he knew and understood why I didn't go, it still hurt and the guilt came on. He mean my aunts, his sisters because after he cut off their access to her money they stopped coming around. One aunt hasn't seen her in over 5 years and the other one way longer and like me they live nearby one is in Stockton and one in Clements. My uncle, my dad's brother, is in prison in Washington state but even before that he only came to her for money too. My dad has decided he won't even call any of them to let them know of her passing. I'm not sure I agree, but I understand.
So, I'm sitting here feeling like the worst person who ever lived and feeling really bad for my dad for losing his mom. I do take comfort in the fact she was in no pain, he was there with her and she just closed her eyes, fell asleep, and then she was gone. I know she had visitors and I kept updated on her because my mom has a friend that was in the same home and she would visit them both often, in fact she just went out there on Tuesday and got her to eat a little chcolate pudding. But then I feel crappy again because my mom, her ex-DIL even went to see her. There's nothing I can do to change the past but I hope my dad doesn't hate me.
Rest in peace Grandma Audrey, because I know I may not have shown it, but I did love you and you will be missed.
I worked on Saturday for 4 hours and then had my grandson for the night, of course that was great.... But the day just went by too fast.
Then Sunday morning comes and my dad calls to let me know his mother, my grandmother passed away last night. She has had a few strokes and wasn't really doing well the past week or so and he told me last week he didn't think it would be long. So I'm sad and guilty all in one.
See, I used to go visit my grandmother in the first home they put her in and she would always say bad things to me, before that she used to give me birthday cards that said she knew I didn't like her or old people but here's a check for my birthday anyway...
Now I'm not trying to make her out to be a bad person, because she was not, but I had aunts and cousins that used to fill her head with lots of things about my dad and us while using her money for their food, rent, clothes, etc... My dad put a stop to that as soon as he found out.
But for some reason she would do and say these mean things to me. So I stopped going to visit her. Truth be told I have not seen her for over 4 years. And while I have felt bad about it, I just really couldn't handle the negative visits, even though I knew she was old and it wasn't her fault.
So now she's gone and my dad will not be having a service for her, he will prolly just bury her by his dad who has been dead for many years, way before I was ever even thought of, way before my parents even met. He said why have a service for people to come to when people didn't even come see her when she was alive. While he was not referring to me because he knew and understood why I didn't go, it still hurt and the guilt came on. He mean my aunts, his sisters because after he cut off their access to her money they stopped coming around. One aunt hasn't seen her in over 5 years and the other one way longer and like me they live nearby one is in Stockton and one in Clements. My uncle, my dad's brother, is in prison in Washington state but even before that he only came to her for money too. My dad has decided he won't even call any of them to let them know of her passing. I'm not sure I agree, but I understand.
So, I'm sitting here feeling like the worst person who ever lived and feeling really bad for my dad for losing his mom. I do take comfort in the fact she was in no pain, he was there with her and she just closed her eyes, fell asleep, and then she was gone. I know she had visitors and I kept updated on her because my mom has a friend that was in the same home and she would visit them both often, in fact she just went out there on Tuesday and got her to eat a little chcolate pudding. But then I feel crappy again because my mom, her ex-DIL even went to see her. There's nothing I can do to change the past but I hope my dad doesn't hate me.
Rest in peace Grandma Audrey, because I know I may not have shown it, but I did love you and you will be missed.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
What's with this new curly hair?
Today I had the day off, the perk of being a county worker... So last night I went and picked up my grandson Kaden so he could stay with me today. Since I had the day off I took a late shower and didn't even waste the time trying to blow dry my hair and fix it.
So I combed it out and let it dry naturally. Well imagine my shock and surprise when it dried and my normally straight hair was very curly. I have long hair so it's not tight curls but they are curls nonetheless...
Ok, I have had straight hair since the day I was born, I used to have to pay very good money to get even the idea of curls in my hair, not to mention scrunching and spraying and gelling... I'm sure I did my fair share of damage to the ozone layer in the 80's with all the Aqua Net I used to use.
I don't know if I like this new discovery or not, I'm still trying to figure out where it all came from. Maybe tomorrow I'll see if it does it again, I just won't blow dry it and straighten it in the morning. It will be an experiment. LOL
So I combed it out and let it dry naturally. Well imagine my shock and surprise when it dried and my normally straight hair was very curly. I have long hair so it's not tight curls but they are curls nonetheless...
Ok, I have had straight hair since the day I was born, I used to have to pay very good money to get even the idea of curls in my hair, not to mention scrunching and spraying and gelling... I'm sure I did my fair share of damage to the ozone layer in the 80's with all the Aqua Net I used to use.
I don't know if I like this new discovery or not, I'm still trying to figure out where it all came from. Maybe tomorrow I'll see if it does it again, I just won't blow dry it and straighten it in the morning. It will be an experiment. LOL
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
What does the future hold?
One thing I need to get back on track with, that I was doing before the diagnosis, is losing all this EXCESS weigh on my fat butt. I'm very obviously NOT a small girl, I'm actually very big. But I'm going to get back in gear to work on that.
I haven't always been a big girl, I mean I haven't been a tiny girl, I'm just not built that way but I want to be healthy. It's about weight but it's also about health. Even my oncologist has said I need to lose and I know it.
So, I've got to come up with a plan of action. I have a gym membership, and I actually normally like the gym I just need to find the time. I don't have a plan yet, but I'm going to make one. I have to do it in a way that it will go off and stay off. None of that yo-yo stuff.
What to do, what to do?
I haven't always been a big girl, I mean I haven't been a tiny girl, I'm just not built that way but I want to be healthy. It's about weight but it's also about health. Even my oncologist has said I need to lose and I know it.
So, I've got to come up with a plan of action. I have a gym membership, and I actually normally like the gym I just need to find the time. I don't have a plan yet, but I'm going to make one. I have to do it in a way that it will go off and stay off. None of that yo-yo stuff.
What to do, what to do?
Old picture of me and Wendy... I think I was a size 7. OMG!
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Sunday, November 2, 2008
Halloween 08 and mall trick or treating
Well I took Kaden trick or treating in the mall for Halloween. His mommy was at work and his daddy stayed home so it was just him and Grandma. He had fun and got lots of candy even though when we were done he told me there were "too much 'tids' (kids)". He's really not used to being around a lot of kids Jordan and Robert are pretty much it except for Sam's sister's kids and even they are a little older. He plays with Isaiah (my cousin Amanda's son) but not a lot either.
After we went trick or treating we got a Jack O'lantern pizza from Papa Murphy's it was cute and he liked it.
Spiderman showing his muscles
Spiderman showing his muscles
He was flirting with the girls at Penney's
He really didn't get what was going on
I'm eating my candy Grandma
Saturday, November 1, 2008
I'm done I graduated!!!! And I got new BRAS!!!
Well on Friday I went in for my radiation appointment wondering if it was going to be my last. Well it was!!!!!! Yes, I was so excited I can't even tell you how happy I was. While all the people are really nice, from the receptionists, to the nurse, to the doctor but especially the technicians. They were awesome and I appreciated all they did for me.
I got a certificate and a little graduation bear which I thought was great!
Imagine my surprise when I went into work at Penney's today hell bent on buying me some bras after work no matter what I had to spend, and saw that they were on morning doorbuster. Talk about luck. Not only were all the bras on sale for $17.99 we had coupons for if you spend $50 you get $10 off or if you spend $75 you get $15 off, PLUS my 20% discount. Life is great.
So I bought me 5 new bras to bring home and try on and I decided to pick 3 to keep. It was too hot in the store to try them on there and I wanted to be able to check them out really good before deciding. I actually got $30/$35 bras for $11.99 each.
Now there is a difference in the way they fit because of course after the tissue removal my right breast is a little bit smaller now and shaped different. But it's there, it's healthy, and soon will be almost back to normal skin wise (I'm REALLY peeling) so that's just a little price to pay.
I thank God and all the doctors and all my family and friends for getting me through this. I still have issues to deal with but for now I'm feeling great!
I got a certificate and a little graduation bear which I thought was great!
It says Mary Franks has completed the prescribed course of Radiation Therapy with a high order of proficiency in the science and art of being cheerful, outstanding in courage, tolerant and determined in all endeavors. Then it has all of my technicians names and signed by the doctor.
It's not often I'm called cheerful. LOL
Well when this all started I was in dire need of some new bras. I hate to shop for most clothes, bras included. It's not easy for me to buy thing or find things I like that fit or look ok since I'm NOT a small girl. Well after my surgeries all I could wear were sports bras. Those suckers are expensive so I only got two. I alternated them, washed them, and hated them. I had to wear tank tops under most of my shirts because you could see the bras. Well now I'm ok to wear "real & normal" bras. So shopping I went.Imagine my surprise when I went into work at Penney's today hell bent on buying me some bras after work no matter what I had to spend, and saw that they were on morning doorbuster. Talk about luck. Not only were all the bras on sale for $17.99 we had coupons for if you spend $50 you get $10 off or if you spend $75 you get $15 off, PLUS my 20% discount. Life is great.
So I bought me 5 new bras to bring home and try on and I decided to pick 3 to keep. It was too hot in the store to try them on there and I wanted to be able to check them out really good before deciding. I actually got $30/$35 bras for $11.99 each.
Now there is a difference in the way they fit because of course after the tissue removal my right breast is a little bit smaller now and shaped different. But it's there, it's healthy, and soon will be almost back to normal skin wise (I'm REALLY peeling) so that's just a little price to pay.
I thank God and all the doctors and all my family and friends for getting me through this. I still have issues to deal with but for now I'm feeling great!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
OMG are you meffing kidding me?
I'm having the treatments that never end... Yesterday they tell me I may have to come back Monday or I'll be one treatment short. Well they called me today to see if I could come in early on Friday, my last day, and that I don't have to come back Monday. So of course I say yes, lets get this over with ASAP....
Well I get there and RIGHT before I got there the server went down and they couldn't bring anything up and I couldn't do my treatment. So now I may have to go Monday anyway. Because one treatment less may be ok, but they don't know about two. So we'll see when I get there tomorrow.
I need to stop getting so excited until it's actually over. I'm going to bed.
Well I get there and RIGHT before I got there the server went down and they couldn't bring anything up and I couldn't do my treatment. So now I may have to go Monday anyway. Because one treatment less may be ok, but they don't know about two. So we'll see when I get there tomorrow.
I need to stop getting so excited until it's actually over. I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Random things you may or may not know about me...
1. My favorite movie in the world is The Wizard of Oz
2. I don't like cheese
3. I love Dr. Pepper
4. I've bitten my nails since I was ten years old
5. I hate diet soda
6. I hate sweet tea
7. I don't like chinese food
8. I don't like fish
9. I love shrimp, lobster, and crab
10. I voted for the first time when I was 26 years old
11. When my kids were little one week I had 3 jobs and worked 86 hours in that week
12. My first car was a '76 Toyota Corolla
13. I had my first kid when I was 16 and my last when I was 23
14. I graduated high school at 17
15. My first job was at A&W Resturant
16. I became a grandma at 36
17. I had a hysterectomy at 36
18. I hate to fly
19. I want to go to Disneyland at Christmastime BAD
20. My birthday lands on Thanksgiving every 5 years or so
21. I failed my first behind the wheel driver's test
22. My 2nd toe on my feet are shorter than my 3rd toe
23. I can't roll my tongue (and it's inherited so I can't learn how)
24. I'm horrible at math
25. I work in the Fiscal Department at work and my title is Accounting Technician I (true story)
26. I can't stand to see blood
27. I will clean your ears with Qtips if you let me (I hate dirty ears)
28. I will pop the zits on your back
29. I love the smell of vanilla or sugar cookie candles
30. I can make cinnamon rolls from scratch
31. I hate thunder & lightening
32. I still watch MTV Real World/Road Rules challenges
33. I love to watch The Biggest Loser... while eating peach cobbler
34. I hate to wear shoes and will wear flip flops as far into the winter as I can
35. I probably own 50 pairs of flip flops (thanks Old Navy)
36. I want to go to Hawaii but probably never will (see number 18)
37. I randomly take college classes online and am working towards a degree in Public/Business Administration if I didn't have 2 jobs I would take more
38. I hate my natural hair color and have been blonde for 5 years until this year when I went dark again
39. I LOVE, literally LOVE my DVR (It's like my boyfriend)
40. I watch General Hospital
41. My favorite tv show of all time is Roseanne
42. I don't attend church but I pray. A lot! (even before the cancer)
43. My dream car is a 2003 Cadillac Escalade in Pearl White with 24" chrome rims & tires
44. I collect cows and have since I was 19 years old
45. I have a king sized bed and I sleep on one side and never even roll to the middle
46. I love my Uggs
47. I'm named after my mom's two sisters one who passed away at 19 and the other is still alive
48. My middle name is Yvonne
49. I'm a meat eating kind of girl
50. I've never owned a brand new car
51. I only have on living grandparent
52. I have one sister (she lives in Oklahoma) but two step-sisters
53. I can cook, but I hate to cook, but of course I do cook
54. The inseam on my legs is 36"
55. I don't like Mariah Carey's music
56. I can not watch Celine Dion or Jessica Simpson sing (they look like they are having seizures)
57. I am a tabloid magazine junkie I buy at least 4 a week
58. Team Aniston
59. I own every season of Friends on DVD including the season finale
60. I played fast pitch softball for 4 years
61. I don't like Jim Carey or Hillary Swank and I try to avoid their movies
62. I have not seen any Lord of The Rings movies
63. I have seen all the Harry Potter movies but read none of the books
64. Asprin makes me sick to my stomach
65. I hate my freckles
66. I love purses, especially Dooney & Bourke
67. I ate In & Out Burger for the first time 3 years ago
68. I used to crave ice and I had to have it 24/7 until my hysterectomy since I'm not anemic anymore the craving went away
69. I don't care much for chocolate but I do love Peanut M&M's
70. I like ice cream in the winter but not the summer, it melts too quick
71. My favorite ice cream is Cold Stone Cake Batter
72. All of my kids went to the same high school I did
73. I love chcolate chip cookie dough and will eat more dough than I make cookies
74. My money has to face the same way and be from smallest to largest denomination in my wallet
75. I hate the way lotion feels on my hands
76. I never wore braces but always wanted them
77. I like showers not baths
78. I make THE best chicken parmasan in the world
79. Mice and rats freak me out
80. I can walk into a pitch dark house no problem but I'm scared in the dark outside
81. I can stay in a squatted position for a long time and keep my balance
82. I don't like Gatorade
83. I drove from California to South Carolina in 50 hours
84. I have no sense of direction and will get lost coming home if I take a wrong turn (seriously)
85. I don't like to swim or be in the water
86. I like the flavor of food cooked with onions but I hate to eat the actual onions
87. I still put olives on my fingers like I did when I was a kid
88. I have 2 birthmarks
89. I used to have my tongue and my nose pierced
90. My favorite baseball team is the New York Mets and I would love to see them play at home
91. I'm usually not hungry when I'm done cooking because I eat while I cook
92. I blow out my candles on November 25th
93. I'm claustrophobic
94. I didn't like Halloween as a child all I wanted was bubble gum
95. I would rather clean the toilet than fold clean clothes
96. I got a 2nd job temporarily for extra money and have been there for 5 years
97. The girls at my 2nd job call me Maryfranks (one word) Idk why they just always have.
98. I can text perfectly without looking at my phone
99. I can't fall asleep without the tv on
100. Once I fall asleep I'll wake up in the middle of the night and then go to bed even if it's 5:30 a.m. and my alarm goes off at 5:45 a.m.
Well that's it, I know it's boring but once I got started I couldn't stop. LOL
2. I don't like cheese
3. I love Dr. Pepper
4. I've bitten my nails since I was ten years old
5. I hate diet soda
6. I hate sweet tea
7. I don't like chinese food
8. I don't like fish
9. I love shrimp, lobster, and crab
10. I voted for the first time when I was 26 years old
11. When my kids were little one week I had 3 jobs and worked 86 hours in that week
12. My first car was a '76 Toyota Corolla
13. I had my first kid when I was 16 and my last when I was 23
14. I graduated high school at 17
15. My first job was at A&W Resturant
16. I became a grandma at 36
17. I had a hysterectomy at 36
18. I hate to fly
19. I want to go to Disneyland at Christmastime BAD
20. My birthday lands on Thanksgiving every 5 years or so
21. I failed my first behind the wheel driver's test
22. My 2nd toe on my feet are shorter than my 3rd toe
23. I can't roll my tongue (and it's inherited so I can't learn how)
24. I'm horrible at math
25. I work in the Fiscal Department at work and my title is Accounting Technician I (true story)
26. I can't stand to see blood
27. I will clean your ears with Qtips if you let me (I hate dirty ears)
28. I will pop the zits on your back
29. I love the smell of vanilla or sugar cookie candles
30. I can make cinnamon rolls from scratch
31. I hate thunder & lightening
32. I still watch MTV Real World/Road Rules challenges
33. I love to watch The Biggest Loser... while eating peach cobbler
34. I hate to wear shoes and will wear flip flops as far into the winter as I can
35. I probably own 50 pairs of flip flops (thanks Old Navy)
36. I want to go to Hawaii but probably never will (see number 18)
37. I randomly take college classes online and am working towards a degree in Public/Business Administration if I didn't have 2 jobs I would take more
38. I hate my natural hair color and have been blonde for 5 years until this year when I went dark again
39. I LOVE, literally LOVE my DVR (It's like my boyfriend)
40. I watch General Hospital
41. My favorite tv show of all time is Roseanne
42. I don't attend church but I pray. A lot! (even before the cancer)
43. My dream car is a 2003 Cadillac Escalade in Pearl White with 24" chrome rims & tires
44. I collect cows and have since I was 19 years old
45. I have a king sized bed and I sleep on one side and never even roll to the middle
46. I love my Uggs
47. I'm named after my mom's two sisters one who passed away at 19 and the other is still alive
48. My middle name is Yvonne
49. I'm a meat eating kind of girl
50. I've never owned a brand new car
51. I only have on living grandparent
52. I have one sister (she lives in Oklahoma) but two step-sisters
53. I can cook, but I hate to cook, but of course I do cook
54. The inseam on my legs is 36"
55. I don't like Mariah Carey's music
56. I can not watch Celine Dion or Jessica Simpson sing (they look like they are having seizures)
57. I am a tabloid magazine junkie I buy at least 4 a week
58. Team Aniston
59. I own every season of Friends on DVD including the season finale
60. I played fast pitch softball for 4 years
61. I don't like Jim Carey or Hillary Swank and I try to avoid their movies
62. I have not seen any Lord of The Rings movies
63. I have seen all the Harry Potter movies but read none of the books
64. Asprin makes me sick to my stomach
65. I hate my freckles
66. I love purses, especially Dooney & Bourke
67. I ate In & Out Burger for the first time 3 years ago
68. I used to crave ice and I had to have it 24/7 until my hysterectomy since I'm not anemic anymore the craving went away
69. I don't care much for chocolate but I do love Peanut M&M's
70. I like ice cream in the winter but not the summer, it melts too quick
71. My favorite ice cream is Cold Stone Cake Batter
72. All of my kids went to the same high school I did
73. I love chcolate chip cookie dough and will eat more dough than I make cookies
74. My money has to face the same way and be from smallest to largest denomination in my wallet
75. I hate the way lotion feels on my hands
76. I never wore braces but always wanted them
77. I like showers not baths
78. I make THE best chicken parmasan in the world
79. Mice and rats freak me out
80. I can walk into a pitch dark house no problem but I'm scared in the dark outside
81. I can stay in a squatted position for a long time and keep my balance
82. I don't like Gatorade
83. I drove from California to South Carolina in 50 hours
84. I have no sense of direction and will get lost coming home if I take a wrong turn (seriously)
85. I don't like to swim or be in the water
86. I like the flavor of food cooked with onions but I hate to eat the actual onions
87. I still put olives on my fingers like I did when I was a kid
88. I have 2 birthmarks
89. I used to have my tongue and my nose pierced
90. My favorite baseball team is the New York Mets and I would love to see them play at home
91. I'm usually not hungry when I'm done cooking because I eat while I cook
92. I blow out my candles on November 25th
93. I'm claustrophobic
94. I didn't like Halloween as a child all I wanted was bubble gum
95. I would rather clean the toilet than fold clean clothes
96. I got a 2nd job temporarily for extra money and have been there for 5 years
97. The girls at my 2nd job call me Maryfranks (one word) Idk why they just always have.
98. I can text perfectly without looking at my phone
99. I can't fall asleep without the tv on
100. Once I fall asleep I'll wake up in the middle of the night and then go to bed even if it's 5:30 a.m. and my alarm goes off at 5:45 a.m.
Well that's it, I know it's boring but once I got started I couldn't stop. LOL
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Peeling off...
I put my antibiotic cream on my skin this morning and as I rubbed it on my skin came off. It's icky... But it really is like a sunburn when it peels after one. One spot hurts but the rest of it is just pink. Not to give tmi, but my nipple has been itching like a mother... That is something new because usually it's the actual boob or under where my bra goes.
On a good note I'm starting my last week of treatments tomorrow. I won't be done on Wednesday like originally planned, but I will be done Friday. So I should be happy, done is done.
Yay me!!!
On a good note I'm starting my last week of treatments tomorrow. I won't be done on Wednesday like originally planned, but I will be done Friday. So I should be happy, done is done.
Yay me!!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Crossed Lines...
Grrrrrr!!! I haven't had internet all day long at home. I know I don't always get mail from actual "people" but I always get spam and crap mail... Well I thought it was strange today I didn't even get that.
Some lines got crossed and so my mail wasn't taking any all day long, all though it would send it. Stupid. But it's fixed and running now.
Sad how we rely on all this technology to get us through the day. LOL
Some lines got crossed and so my mail wasn't taking any all day long, all though it would send it. Stupid. But it's fixed and running now.
Sad how we rely on all this technology to get us through the day. LOL
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
That's what I get for being excited...
Well I always see the dr. on Tuesday before my treatment so he can check my skin. Well not such good news today. My skin is too irritated and the original lotion they gave me isn't keeping it hydrated enough. It's really red and peeling pretty badly under my breast, right where my bra goes...
So I had my treatment today and then no more for the rest of the week and he prescribed me some cream to put on it twice a day to help clear it up a little bit. It has been bothering me a bit (ok a lot) and it itches like you would NOT believe. And I can't just walk around scratching my boob all day, plus it hurts to mess with it too much.
So I will skip for 3 days, with the weekend that makes it 5 and then I have to go all next week. So instead of being done on Wednesday, I will be done on Halloween. So while it's one less treatment total, it's 2 days longer than planned.
But on a good note, I just had THE best homemade chicken soup for dinner tonight, in my very clean and shiny house. Thank you SO MUCH Jessica and Norma... Well I'm going to watch Dancing With The Stars while eating me some yummy chocolate chip cookies with milk (also courtesy of Jessica) and then head off to bed. I'm really tired today....
So I had my treatment today and then no more for the rest of the week and he prescribed me some cream to put on it twice a day to help clear it up a little bit. It has been bothering me a bit (ok a lot) and it itches like you would NOT believe. And I can't just walk around scratching my boob all day, plus it hurts to mess with it too much.
So I will skip for 3 days, with the weekend that makes it 5 and then I have to go all next week. So instead of being done on Wednesday, I will be done on Halloween. So while it's one less treatment total, it's 2 days longer than planned.
But on a good note, I just had THE best homemade chicken soup for dinner tonight, in my very clean and shiny house. Thank you SO MUCH Jessica and Norma... Well I'm going to watch Dancing With The Stars while eating me some yummy chocolate chip cookies with milk (also courtesy of Jessica) and then head off to bed. I'm really tired today....
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Something besides cancer for once....
The farmer and his wife... Jordan was not thrilled.... LOL
Kaden at the start of our day, he was excited to go see the pumpkins.
Kaden at the end of our day, he was not excited to leave Chuck E Cheese
Like my magnet? Me too! Thanks Trish!!!
Joey and Sarah at Joey's birthday dinner.... Well my tummy issues are pretty much gone and I had an enjoyable weekend. I took my grandson to the pumpkin patch and a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese on Saturday and then on Sunday we went to eat for my son Joey's 19th birthday.
If you have never been to Texas Roadhouse, I HIGHLY suggest you try it ASAP. The first time I had it was in South Carolina and I'm so happy to have one close enough to travel to. Good pick for dinner Joey. :o)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Stomach problems...
Well I've been home from work for 3 days with stomach problems. I came home Monday night from Penney's dizzy and with a pain in my stomach. Well I must have some bug, because it won't go away. I feel like I'm being stabbed in the center of my stomach. I went to the dr. yesterday and they drew blood and I have to go back today for a ultrasound to see if it's gall stones. I haven't eaten since Monday afternoon and I'm STARVING...
I can't keep anything in or down, including water. Everytime I try to drink something that pain comes back so sharp that I can't stand it. Last night Joey made me some chicken soup with crackers but sure enough it came back out immediately. I have been going to my radiation because I don't want to add any time to it. October 29th is my last day and I can add days to the end if I need to but I don't want to. My skin is getting so irritated, the only good thing about being home for the past 3 days is I can keep my bra off and just keep the lotion on my skin...
I've got to get better because I really don't have time to be off sick and I work on Saturday morning and I promised my grandson I would take him to the pumpkin patch on Saturday after work. Plus Joey's 19th birthday is on Sunday and I'm sure he'll want to go eat or something and I want to be able to go.
Well, I'm going to lie down until time to head out... I feel like crap!!!
I can't keep anything in or down, including water. Everytime I try to drink something that pain comes back so sharp that I can't stand it. Last night Joey made me some chicken soup with crackers but sure enough it came back out immediately. I have been going to my radiation because I don't want to add any time to it. October 29th is my last day and I can add days to the end if I need to but I don't want to. My skin is getting so irritated, the only good thing about being home for the past 3 days is I can keep my bra off and just keep the lotion on my skin...
I've got to get better because I really don't have time to be off sick and I work on Saturday morning and I promised my grandson I would take him to the pumpkin patch on Saturday after work. Plus Joey's 19th birthday is on Sunday and I'm sure he'll want to go eat or something and I want to be able to go.
Well, I'm going to lie down until time to head out... I feel like crap!!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Week 4, over 1/2 way done...
Well I'm coming up on week 4 of radiation starting tomorrow. That means I've completed 15 treatments and I have 13 left to go. I REALLY over did it this weekend. Friday I went to my treatment early in the morning instead of the afternoon because I went to the New Kids On The Block concert in San Jose Friday night (more on that with EXCELLENT photos coming up)... I didn't get home until 2 a.m. and then I had trouble sleeping even though I was exhausted.
Saturday morning I was sleeping so soundly and got woke up with my cell phone going off, who texts at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday ;o)... So I got up and had to get ready for work in a bit to be there at 11... I was so anxious waiting for the clock to hit 3 so I could leave (anxiety has been happening a lot more lately). Finally 3 came and I had to go run an errand and then I promised my friend Renee that I would go to a Quincenera with her that her son was in because she didn't want to go alone... What was I thinking? I went to the Quince but I didn't stay long because I was tired, my eyes burned, and I started getting dizzy. So feeling bad about it I left after about 2 hours. She understood of course, but I still feel bad abandoning her. I went home and just rested.
Sunday I was off work and I sat around the house all day long. How the hell can I do that when there is so much to be done around here?! I did make it to the grocery store and I finally cooked dinner, but there are so many other things I need to do, I just couldn't force myself to do it. And it's back to work tomorrow so I'm really kicking myself. I can't wait for all this to be done so I can get my energy back. The fatigue is beyond words, I just can't explain it to anyone. It's something you don't get until you feel it, and believe me you don't want to feel like this.
Well I'm off to go do the dishes and rest before bed. Have a good week!!!
Saturday morning I was sleeping so soundly and got woke up with my cell phone going off, who texts at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday ;o)... So I got up and had to get ready for work in a bit to be there at 11... I was so anxious waiting for the clock to hit 3 so I could leave (anxiety has been happening a lot more lately). Finally 3 came and I had to go run an errand and then I promised my friend Renee that I would go to a Quincenera with her that her son was in because she didn't want to go alone... What was I thinking? I went to the Quince but I didn't stay long because I was tired, my eyes burned, and I started getting dizzy. So feeling bad about it I left after about 2 hours. She understood of course, but I still feel bad abandoning her. I went home and just rested.
Sunday I was off work and I sat around the house all day long. How the hell can I do that when there is so much to be done around here?! I did make it to the grocery store and I finally cooked dinner, but there are so many other things I need to do, I just couldn't force myself to do it. And it's back to work tomorrow so I'm really kicking myself. I can't wait for all this to be done so I can get my energy back. The fatigue is beyond words, I just can't explain it to anyone. It's something you don't get until you feel it, and believe me you don't want to feel like this.
Well I'm off to go do the dishes and rest before bed. Have a good week!!!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Two weeks down... 18 more treatments to go.
Yeah, I'm done with the second week of radiation and it's true what they said, the first week was a breeze, the 2nd... Not so much. I'm exhausted. I can't do what I usually do and I can't express how much I HATE that. I don't have time to be tired, I don't have time to be sick, I don't have time for this mess. I know I have to do it and of course I am going to, but I've had to cut back my hours at Penney's and I just feel like that is letting this defeat me. I will not be defeated!!! I'll get back again soon. Thanks for coming to my pity party, I'm sorry but there is no cake or favors. LOL
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Radiation Part 2....
Well I made it through my first week of radiation. Like everyone said it was pretty easy. Monday was a breeze, they were waiting for me to get there and I was in and out before 5 p.m. (my daily appointment is at 4:45), Tuesday was another story, they were behind so I waited with some other patients and I finally got out right before 6 p.m. Next came Wednesday which again was pretty much a piece of cake. Oh, next came Thursday (if it seems like it's getting tedious you would be correct), in and out. Then there was glorious Fiday!!! But it wasn't so glorious and that's all on me.
Every day is two radiologists they rotate late days I guess. They are actually very happy to see me because I'm their last appointment of the day. Friday however was unconfortable for me. It was the two guys' turn to do my treatment. Now I know it's all medical and they are very professional, it's not like they are "checking out my rack", BUT, all the same it was a little tense for me. I'm sure I'll get used to it, I just have to work through it.
I get off work at 4:30 and head to my appointment. I change into a hospital gown and then wait for them to call me in. My actual treatments consist of me getting into position on the table on top of my mold and a sheet, they position me and line up my tattoos with the rays and then they leave the room. Then this big huge machine starts on the left side makes a humming noise and works its way in a 1/2 circle around to my other side (which is my affected side) and hums for a while longer and then they come in and tell me to put my arms down and I'm done. I just go get dressed and head home or to work, whichever the case may be.
Well I can't believe I got through one week but there are 4 1/2 more to go. My last treatment day is October 29th. I thought it would just fly by, but not so much. But obviously I've got to get through it and I'll be so happy when I'm done.
Every day is two radiologists they rotate late days I guess. They are actually very happy to see me because I'm their last appointment of the day. Friday however was unconfortable for me. It was the two guys' turn to do my treatment. Now I know it's all medical and they are very professional, it's not like they are "checking out my rack", BUT, all the same it was a little tense for me. I'm sure I'll get used to it, I just have to work through it.
I get off work at 4:30 and head to my appointment. I change into a hospital gown and then wait for them to call me in. My actual treatments consist of me getting into position on the table on top of my mold and a sheet, they position me and line up my tattoos with the rays and then they leave the room. Then this big huge machine starts on the left side makes a humming noise and works its way in a 1/2 circle around to my other side (which is my affected side) and hums for a while longer and then they come in and tell me to put my arms down and I'm done. I just go get dressed and head home or to work, whichever the case may be.
Well I can't believe I got through one week but there are 4 1/2 more to go. My last treatment day is October 29th. I thought it would just fly by, but not so much. But obviously I've got to get through it and I'll be so happy when I'm done.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Call Joe Francis and Girls Gone Wild!!!
I went for my simulation for radiation and x-rays today since I start actual radiation on Monday. They had to make sure all my tattoos and stuff lined up and that I was positioned right.
This consisted of lying on a table with my hospital gown pulled down just below my breasts and 3 technicians drawing on me and moving me and x-raying me. They also had to take some photos of me.
At this point I've flashed so many medical personnel I'm not sure if GGW would be that much difference. LOL Although my "girls" aren't quite as firm, and I'm not quite as "shapely" as the girls in those videos.
I just hope those pictures never get out to the public. I'll never be president then. LOL
This consisted of lying on a table with my hospital gown pulled down just below my breasts and 3 technicians drawing on me and moving me and x-raying me. They also had to take some photos of me.
At this point I've flashed so many medical personnel I'm not sure if GGW would be that much difference. LOL Although my "girls" aren't quite as firm, and I'm not quite as "shapely" as the girls in those videos.
I just hope those pictures never get out to the public. I'll never be president then. LOL
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Radiation Part 1
Well I got a call today and I will go in on Friday for my "dry run" on the radiation. That is basically a dress rehersal to make sure all the tattoos and things line up right. I'll have to do some x-rays and then that's it.
I will start my actual treatment on the following Monday. I'm a little nervous because I don't know how it will affect me and how I will feel. As of now I'm going to keep working both jobs until I see if I'm too tired to do that. Regardless I will work during the day through the whole thing.
I'll post more later after I have more info.
I will start my actual treatment on the following Monday. I'm a little nervous because I don't know how it will affect me and how I will feel. As of now I'm going to keep working both jobs until I see if I'm too tired to do that. Regardless I will work during the day through the whole thing.
I'll post more later after I have more info.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I've got to have some fun, it can't be all medicine...
A friend of mine got tickets to the Janet Jackson concert in Oakland on Saturday night and we went. It was SO much fun!!! She was really good, the only thing was L L Cool J was supposed to open up for her and he wasn't there. Instead it was Nelly, who did a good job, but I was really looking forward to L L, I've loved him since high school. LOL
It can't be all about work and doctors.....
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Radiation & Tattoo'd for life...
So. I went to the other oncologist, the one who's going to do my radiation. Yesterday was my consultation. I met first with Jennifer the nurse, she was very nice and very good at explaining things to me. Then I met with Dr. V who let me know pretty much what I already did, except for the part where I have to do the radiation 5 days a week for at least 5 1/2 weeks.
I thought 2 or 3 days, but 5? I did not know that. But hey, whatever is going to do it, I will do. I'll have to prolly adjust my time at work, try to get in at a later hour in the day if possible. I did get some more information about being tired after we get this rolling. So, as for Penney's I may have to cut down to weekends only. It's going to hurt financially, but like always, I will get by.
My second appointment was today to do a CT scan and to brand me for life. This took about an hour and wasn't too bad, I was nervous because I'm claustrophobic and didn't want to be stuck in an enclosed tube. Good thing it was open at the back end, when I saw that I relaxed. I had to lay on this strange looking blobby thing that wound up forming into a cast type thing for when I go back to to my actual radiation.
It was slightly uncomfortable as I had to sit with my hands over my head, exposed for the world to see, for about 20 minutes. Then after I was situated Dr. V came in and marked me up with a Sharpie marker and then Hillary, the radiologist got me prepped to tat me up!!! LOL
I have three very small dot tattoos. One in between my two breasts, one on my left side, and one on my right. These are not temporary things to be removed when I'm done, they are permanent tattoos. Good thing they are small. She said the one in the breastbone would hurt worst of all, but actually the one on the right was the painful one. Then the one on the left bled for a while, not gushing, but not a tiny spot.
So now I wait. I wait for them to set up my "plan". They will then call me in (about 7 -10 days) to do a dry run. Then after that I will set up my Monday - Friday appointment and get this show on the road!!!
I'm nervous about how I will respond to this and hope that the exhaustion isn't that bad. I don't know if I said it before, but I don't have time to be "sick". I have too much going on, too much to do. I mean Jordan will start basketball soon and we all know I don't miss my kids' games.
So for the next week or so I will wait. I will wait and anticipate and then do what I gotta do!!!
I thought 2 or 3 days, but 5? I did not know that. But hey, whatever is going to do it, I will do. I'll have to prolly adjust my time at work, try to get in at a later hour in the day if possible. I did get some more information about being tired after we get this rolling. So, as for Penney's I may have to cut down to weekends only. It's going to hurt financially, but like always, I will get by.
My second appointment was today to do a CT scan and to brand me for life. This took about an hour and wasn't too bad, I was nervous because I'm claustrophobic and didn't want to be stuck in an enclosed tube. Good thing it was open at the back end, when I saw that I relaxed. I had to lay on this strange looking blobby thing that wound up forming into a cast type thing for when I go back to to my actual radiation.
It was slightly uncomfortable as I had to sit with my hands over my head, exposed for the world to see, for about 20 minutes. Then after I was situated Dr. V came in and marked me up with a Sharpie marker and then Hillary, the radiologist got me prepped to tat me up!!! LOL
I have three very small dot tattoos. One in between my two breasts, one on my left side, and one on my right. These are not temporary things to be removed when I'm done, they are permanent tattoos. Good thing they are small. She said the one in the breastbone would hurt worst of all, but actually the one on the right was the painful one. Then the one on the left bled for a while, not gushing, but not a tiny spot.
So now I wait. I wait for them to set up my "plan". They will then call me in (about 7 -10 days) to do a dry run. Then after that I will set up my Monday - Friday appointment and get this show on the road!!!
I'm nervous about how I will respond to this and hope that the exhaustion isn't that bad. I don't know if I said it before, but I don't have time to be "sick". I have too much going on, too much to do. I mean Jordan will start basketball soon and we all know I don't miss my kids' games.
So for the next week or so I will wait. I will wait and anticipate and then do what I gotta do!!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
OMG, I totally forgot about these!!!
Jessica, Tammy, Casey, & me....
Casey & Jessica and the little blue Datsun....I was going through my closet looking for stuff and came upon an old photo album... OMG, I totally forgot the John Mellencamp concert. I can't even tell you what year this was, '91 or '92?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Back to work... Again.
Ok, I go back to work tomorrow. It's a good thing but yet not... I've gotten used to being on my own time and doing what I want to do. Yeah, I know it's only been 3 weeks, but hey it was a relaxing 3 weeks... Well after the surgery and recover part. LOL I actually go back to both jobs tomorrow. But I also have an appointment at the radiology place to have my consultation on when I start my radiation. I'm hoping I'll know everything tomorrow about that. How long, when, what days, etc.
I hear one of the side effects are lack of energy so I'll have to see how it all goes and then manage my work schedule (at Penney's not WorkNet) around it. I don't want to try and work if I'm going to be drained. Hopefully it won't affect me too badly (I'm trying to be optimistic)...
Since today is my last day off I guess I'll do my normal Sunday routine of cleaning the bathroom and doing the laundry. I've got to get back in the groove. LOL
I hear one of the side effects are lack of energy so I'll have to see how it all goes and then manage my work schedule (at Penney's not WorkNet) around it. I don't want to try and work if I'm going to be drained. Hopefully it won't affect me too badly (I'm trying to be optimistic)...
Since today is my last day off I guess I'll do my normal Sunday routine of cleaning the bathroom and doing the laundry. I've got to get back in the groove. LOL
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
If a mother of three toddlers can do it so can I!!! LOL
I'm reading a book called Twilight. It was recommended by one of the blog queens I know Casey. I don't normally believe in "signs" but I went to Target today to buy the New Kids on The Block's new CD (I'm going to the concert, I have to know the new songs LOL) and as I walked down the aisle I saw the book staring me in the face. Not only that, it was on sale for $8.00. I didn't even know what the book was about but I tossed it in my cart anyway. It's been sooooooo long since I've read a book that I can't even tell you the last book I read.
So I thought how pathetic of me... If a mother of triplet, three year old, girls can fit the time in to read a book then I should too. I mean I need to do something to expand my mind right? I'm not done with the book, I'm only about 1/4 of the way done, but I have a feeling I will finish it tonight or tomorrow morning. And so far, I highly recommend it.
But in true lazy me fashion, I also can not wait for the move which is scheduled to come out on 12.12.08...
Monday, September 1, 2008
On my meds
Well I started my medication on Thursday, it's called Tamoxifen (I think I already mentioned that)... Well a few of the possible side effects the dr. informed me of were thinning of the hair, depression, and possible weight gain. He did stress that they are "possible" side effects and there are a few more but these were the ones he mostly discussed.
Ok, to start with the hair thinning. I have very thin hair to begin with, but I do have a lot of it (really it makes sense), my hair is also almost now down to my butt after being kept around shoulder length or shorter for a few years. Now in the big scheme of things I know this is not a big deal, but the vanity in me kicks in and I do worry about it. But I guess like everything else I will deal with that if/when I get there.
Then comes the depression..... Are you kidding me? I don't have time to be depressed. I haven't had time to be depressed since all this started and I can't start now. So far, even though it's only been 5 days, I seem ok. I'm not an easy crier and I hope that doesn't change. I can't be one of those that cries at long distance phone call commercials.
Last but definately NOT least is the "possible" weight gain. OMG are you REALLY kidding me?! The last thing I need is more weight, I actually have totally enough. I could share with those who need it and still be ok. Before all this started happening I was actually focusing on my weight, my eating habits, portions, exercise, etc. But then I really had/have to focus on my heath. Now the dr. did mention weight is/can be a big part of the cancer and why I got it. So I'm going to get back on track with that. And actually, since I've started the meds I have really, really, really, lost my appetite.
Those who know me know I am not a small girl, I am a pretty big girl. But I haven't always been that way and I don't plan on staying that way. I mean I've never been and never will be a size 1 or 3 but I know I can get to a decent size/weight/healthy area if I put my mind to it.
The fact that the meds are causing me to lose my appetite may seem like a good thing but it's not really, I mean I do like food. Here the past few days I have cooked/bought/went out for food that sounded good at the time but then after a few bites I'm done and just the thought of putting more in my mouth makes me gag.
Well it's late, and another thing I seem to not be able to sleep since starting th meds. I was up until 3 a.m. this morning watching the BFF BH 90210 Marathon on Soap Net. Gosh I miss those fights between Brenda and Kelly over Dylan. LOL
Ok, I am going to try and get some sleep because I have to get up early and take Jordan to school, and I need to start getting used to getting up at my normal time since I go back to work on Monday. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day and I'll catch you later.
Ok, to start with the hair thinning. I have very thin hair to begin with, but I do have a lot of it (really it makes sense), my hair is also almost now down to my butt after being kept around shoulder length or shorter for a few years. Now in the big scheme of things I know this is not a big deal, but the vanity in me kicks in and I do worry about it. But I guess like everything else I will deal with that if/when I get there.
Then comes the depression..... Are you kidding me? I don't have time to be depressed. I haven't had time to be depressed since all this started and I can't start now. So far, even though it's only been 5 days, I seem ok. I'm not an easy crier and I hope that doesn't change. I can't be one of those that cries at long distance phone call commercials.
Last but definately NOT least is the "possible" weight gain. OMG are you REALLY kidding me?! The last thing I need is more weight, I actually have totally enough. I could share with those who need it and still be ok. Before all this started happening I was actually focusing on my weight, my eating habits, portions, exercise, etc. But then I really had/have to focus on my heath. Now the dr. did mention weight is/can be a big part of the cancer and why I got it. So I'm going to get back on track with that. And actually, since I've started the meds I have really, really, really, lost my appetite.
Those who know me know I am not a small girl, I am a pretty big girl. But I haven't always been that way and I don't plan on staying that way. I mean I've never been and never will be a size 1 or 3 but I know I can get to a decent size/weight/healthy area if I put my mind to it.
The fact that the meds are causing me to lose my appetite may seem like a good thing but it's not really, I mean I do like food. Here the past few days I have cooked/bought/went out for food that sounded good at the time but then after a few bites I'm done and just the thought of putting more in my mouth makes me gag.
Well it's late, and another thing I seem to not be able to sleep since starting th meds. I was up until 3 a.m. this morning watching the BFF BH 90210 Marathon on Soap Net. Gosh I miss those fights between Brenda and Kelly over Dylan. LOL
Ok, I am going to try and get some sleep because I have to get up early and take Jordan to school, and I need to start getting used to getting up at my normal time since I go back to work on Monday. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day and I'll catch you later.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Oncologist visit and getting out there....
Well I saw my oncologist today and we went over a lot of things. I got a copy of both of my pathology reports from him which I've really only glanced over but they are very interesting. You can see the difference in the two reports, I mean with what limited knowledge I have of the medical terminology. I am going to read more in depth when I have the energy to look up the big words... LOL
But bottom line is I will be taking Tamoxifen 2 times a day for anywhere from months or up to 5 years. I will also have to have radiation treatments. I didn't know this but they don't do it at Kaiser they have a place that contracts out to them called St. Theresa's. It's in Stockton and they will be calling me soon to set that up. So more on that when I know more. LOL
It seems like a lot to do but whatever will help is what I will do. I liked my oncologist his name is Dr. James Shum. He was born in China and moved to New York for college and medical school. He decided to move to California after 9/11, he was not very far from the towers when it happened and he told me about that. He is a very knowledgeable and interesting man.
I am trying to find more people to contact with my blog, and blogs to read myself. I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. Again, when I'm not so tired I will make more of an effort.
My dr. told me stories about people and different stages of cancer, he called mine not exactly a "real" cancer, (for lack of a better word)... He did tell me I did the right thing by going with my instinct, but that if I had waited 6 more months the DCIS would have probably had the same results, but getting it done when I did was good. I will not think twice EVER about going with my "gut" feeling. It wasn't a feeling, it was more than that. I can't really explain it but I knew waiting should not be an option. I don't trust myself on a lot of things, but if I ever get that gut feeling again I will so go with it.
Well I'm going to finish cleaning up the dinner dishes and watch me some Law & Order. LOL Nighty night.
But bottom line is I will be taking Tamoxifen 2 times a day for anywhere from months or up to 5 years. I will also have to have radiation treatments. I didn't know this but they don't do it at Kaiser they have a place that contracts out to them called St. Theresa's. It's in Stockton and they will be calling me soon to set that up. So more on that when I know more. LOL
It seems like a lot to do but whatever will help is what I will do. I liked my oncologist his name is Dr. James Shum. He was born in China and moved to New York for college and medical school. He decided to move to California after 9/11, he was not very far from the towers when it happened and he told me about that. He is a very knowledgeable and interesting man.
I am trying to find more people to contact with my blog, and blogs to read myself. I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. Again, when I'm not so tired I will make more of an effort.
My dr. told me stories about people and different stages of cancer, he called mine not exactly a "real" cancer, (for lack of a better word)... He did tell me I did the right thing by going with my instinct, but that if I had waited 6 more months the DCIS would have probably had the same results, but getting it done when I did was good. I will not think twice EVER about going with my "gut" feeling. It wasn't a feeling, it was more than that. I can't really explain it but I knew waiting should not be an option. I don't trust myself on a lot of things, but if I ever get that gut feeling again I will so go with it.
Well I'm going to finish cleaning up the dinner dishes and watch me some Law & Order. LOL Nighty night.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Good news mixed with some bad news...
First the good news, I went to the dr. today and she walked in the door and first thing she said was the news is good. The pathology came back and they got it all out the second time around. Yay!!! I was happy to hear that. So my next question was where do I go from here.
She made me an appointment with my oncologist and I go there on Thursday... It will be up to him to review my case and see with my age, the testing on my tissue, and other things that drs test if I have to have radiation and/or take medication as a follow up. But as long as I don't have any more surgeries I will be glad to do whatever they tell me. I did have a little infection around the incision and she thinks it is due to my skin having a bad reaction to the tape they used. But to be safe she put me on Augmentin an antibiotic and I have an extra week off work.
And speaking of work, here's the bad news. I used up my sick leave from the last time I had surgery and so I put in a request for Catastrophic Leave Donation at work. Well the people who process that paperwork do it on a volunteer basis and no on did it last week so even though I was approved, it won't go into affect until the next period. So that means I have 28 hours of a normal 40 hour week that I can get paid for before disability kicks in. (Damn that 7 day waiting period!!!) So with that plus I get no sick time from Penney's I'm going to be screwed for a wihle.
And of course it's at my heaviest bill time. I do my bills in sections... My rent car insurance and PG&E bill on one paycheck (which is the one I'm going to be short on), then on the other one I do my car payment, the cell phones, my credit cards (ok I only have two but that's still $40 a month), and my satellite and internet/phone bill. I do have Joey who pays his own car insurance and cell phone bill and he buys groceries and stuff, but he also just spent a fortune on books and fees for Delta so I don't want him to worry (hence why I chose to not share this info with him)...
I feel so bad that he has to pay for his own college stuff, I mean I try to help as much as possible but according to the financial aid people I make too much money to get help... Ummmmm, I'd like them to show me where all this money is I make, because I'd like to spend it. LOL
Oh well I am not going to let that get me down. I'll manage, I always do. Nothing can take away my excitement of the dr. walking in and saying "Good news!!!" I'll post again Thursday on that appointment.
Yippeeeee!!!!!
She made me an appointment with my oncologist and I go there on Thursday... It will be up to him to review my case and see with my age, the testing on my tissue, and other things that drs test if I have to have radiation and/or take medication as a follow up. But as long as I don't have any more surgeries I will be glad to do whatever they tell me. I did have a little infection around the incision and she thinks it is due to my skin having a bad reaction to the tape they used. But to be safe she put me on Augmentin an antibiotic and I have an extra week off work.
And speaking of work, here's the bad news. I used up my sick leave from the last time I had surgery and so I put in a request for Catastrophic Leave Donation at work. Well the people who process that paperwork do it on a volunteer basis and no on did it last week so even though I was approved, it won't go into affect until the next period. So that means I have 28 hours of a normal 40 hour week that I can get paid for before disability kicks in. (Damn that 7 day waiting period!!!) So with that plus I get no sick time from Penney's I'm going to be screwed for a wihle.
And of course it's at my heaviest bill time. I do my bills in sections... My rent car insurance and PG&E bill on one paycheck (which is the one I'm going to be short on), then on the other one I do my car payment, the cell phones, my credit cards (ok I only have two but that's still $40 a month), and my satellite and internet/phone bill. I do have Joey who pays his own car insurance and cell phone bill and he buys groceries and stuff, but he also just spent a fortune on books and fees for Delta so I don't want him to worry (hence why I chose to not share this info with him)...
I feel so bad that he has to pay for his own college stuff, I mean I try to help as much as possible but according to the financial aid people I make too much money to get help... Ummmmm, I'd like them to show me where all this money is I make, because I'd like to spend it. LOL
Oh well I am not going to let that get me down. I'll manage, I always do. Nothing can take away my excitement of the dr. walking in and saying "Good news!!!" I'll post again Thursday on that appointment.
Yippeeeee!!!!!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The family I talk about...
Kaden blowing bubbles......
Kaden all tired and sleeping after the wedding reception...
Jordan, Joey, & Christopher....
Friday, August 22, 2008
Bite me beezy!!! You should have been in line!!!
I finally ventured out this morning and I went to Starbucks on March and I5... Well when you pull in there (in case you've never been) there are two driveways one for the Sbux d/t and one for the bank.Well there was a line in the Sbux and 2 cars sitting on the curb (a van and a car)... To me they looked like they were together and waiting for someone or each other.
Well from what I could see they weren't in line so I pulled into the Sbux line.Well the girl (not woman, she was no more than 19) started honking her horn getting out of her van and standing on her running boards yelling at me.... At this point I'm already in line and I'm not backing out. She then proceedes to pull up behind me and stick her head out the window and yell some more. Now had I been 100% I would have stuck my head back out and told her exactly where she could go and what she could do when she got there!!! But I'm still tired and sore so I just ignored her. Maybe next time she should be in line and this won't happen!!!
Well from what I could see they weren't in line so I pulled into the Sbux line.Well the girl (not woman, she was no more than 19) started honking her horn getting out of her van and standing on her running boards yelling at me.... At this point I'm already in line and I'm not backing out. She then proceedes to pull up behind me and stick her head out the window and yell some more. Now had I been 100% I would have stuck my head back out and told her exactly where she could go and what she could do when she got there!!! But I'm still tired and sore so I just ignored her. Maybe next time she should be in line and this won't happen!!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Worse than before....
OMG I had my 2nd surgery on Monday and it's worse than the first time. I don't know if it's because the area was still sensitive or what but I hurt still so bad. I finally got the nerve to take a shower around midnight last night but I didn't remove the gauze yet. I can tell already that there is a bruise there like no other. Last time I had a little bruise this time I can see the purple coming out from under the dressing.
Also, I'm really tired. By the third day last time I had at least got ready and went to eat. This time, not so much. I haven't even taken Jordan to school yet. Joey has done me the hugest favor by getting up early and taking Jordan to Franklin before he heads off to Delta. And that's a big deal considering they are woking on parking over there and it's a fight to get a spot if you're not there early.
I kinda wish I would have had to stay the night in the hospital, just because they wait on you hand and foot there. LOL Here I'm seeing all the stuff that needs to be done even though I can't do it and it's driving me crazy. Anyone want to clean my bathroom for me? Just kidding.
Well I'm beat, off to rest some more since I popped another pain pill and I feel it kicking in.
Also, I'm really tired. By the third day last time I had at least got ready and went to eat. This time, not so much. I haven't even taken Jordan to school yet. Joey has done me the hugest favor by getting up early and taking Jordan to Franklin before he heads off to Delta. And that's a big deal considering they are woking on parking over there and it's a fight to get a spot if you're not there early.
I kinda wish I would have had to stay the night in the hospital, just because they wait on you hand and foot there. LOL Here I'm seeing all the stuff that needs to be done even though I can't do it and it's driving me crazy. Anyone want to clean my bathroom for me? Just kidding.
Well I'm beat, off to rest some more since I popped another pain pill and I feel it kicking in.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Puberty at 38?
OMG I have been getting the biggest, painful, annoying, long lasting zits that I have ever had in my life. Even when I was a teenager I didn't get very many pimples. I've had one little cluster on my chin that's been there for over a month. I don't know if it's stress, hormones, or what but I hope they go away. I find myself dipping into my 15 year old son's face wash and treaments.
Oh, well, at least I don't have to go through high school all over again and have the "cool" girls point and laugh. LOL
Oh, well, at least I don't have to go through high school all over again and have the "cool" girls point and laugh. LOL
Friday, August 15, 2008
Another Surgery
Well here's an update for all... well both... of my readers. LOL I had an appointment with my surgeon the wonderful Dr. Grace Tay. When I had my post op she was on vacation visiting with Micky Mouse and the gang down south. But I was told waiting for her wouldn't harm me and since I'm so comfortable with her that is what I chose to do.
She has a wonderful way of explaining things to me that make me very relaxed and confident. While I do have to have surgery again, this Monday (08/18/08 6 a.m.) she is very optimistic that things will be ok. They have to go in and remove a little more tissue. No wire to guide this time but I will have a little more healing time since there is a bigger chance for infection. I will be off work for two weeks but that's ok. Whatever it takes to make me healthy.
The actual term for what I have is DCIS which stands for Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. One of the websites that I found explains it all very well (http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/dcis/), I've been doing lots of research.
The fact that it is non invasive is very promising. After the surgery I will have to see an onocologist and then my case will be examined and we will go over the next course of treatment. I will find out soon if I have to have radiation and how much, meds and what and how long.
So wish me well and know that I am being very positive, so much so that people are worried I am too calm (no I have not been put on anti-depressants as many people think)... I just know getting excited will not help and I need to do what has to be done to get myself 100% healthy.
She has a wonderful way of explaining things to me that make me very relaxed and confident. While I do have to have surgery again, this Monday (08/18/08 6 a.m.) she is very optimistic that things will be ok. They have to go in and remove a little more tissue. No wire to guide this time but I will have a little more healing time since there is a bigger chance for infection. I will be off work for two weeks but that's ok. Whatever it takes to make me healthy.
The actual term for what I have is DCIS which stands for Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. One of the websites that I found explains it all very well (http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/dcis/), I've been doing lots of research.
The fact that it is non invasive is very promising. After the surgery I will have to see an onocologist and then my case will be examined and we will go over the next course of treatment. I will find out soon if I have to have radiation and how much, meds and what and how long.
So wish me well and know that I am being very positive, so much so that people are worried I am too calm (no I have not been put on anti-depressants as many people think)... I just know getting excited will not help and I need to do what has to be done to get myself 100% healthy.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Back to Work and Weekend Plans
Well I made it through my first week back to work, but man was it hecka exhausting!!! LOL I was only off for a week and 1/2 but that gave me enough time to get on a strict napping schedule. Ha, ha, ha... I did get sick one day but that had nothing to do with the cancer, I think it was tummy bug. I called in at the store but really had no choice. Everything is just normal and day to day right now until I get back to the doctor and schedule my next surgery and all that comes after that. There's nothing that can be done until then. I did go to a quincenera and a baptisim on Saturday, there I talked to a friend who went through what I am going through and more, she is 4 1/2 years out recovering... Sunday I went to see Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2 with Wendy, an old, great, friend of mine that I've reconnected with after a few years. Then we had lunch and talked for like hours... It was a great visit and I hope we do it again soon. Well off to do some of those dreaded household chores befoe I head back to work again tomorrow. Until next time, take care.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Strange coincidences...
Well I found out today that Christina Applegate (Married With Children, Jesse, Samantha Who?) was diagnosed with breast cancer too. While of course I don't know her total diagnosis it does sound similar to mine. The reason I say coincidence is that she and I share a birthday only I'm 2 years older, (and however many pounds larger LOL) but that is besides the point. Well anyway, I wish her well and will keep her in my prayers when I pray for myself as well. It just goes to show that I'm a single mom with 2 jobs just trying to make it in the world and it got me, she is a rich and famous movie/broadway/tv star and it hit her too. Cancer doesn't discriminate
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Beginning
I got the idea to blog from a couple of blogs I read. My blog heros are Jessica, my former sister in law and wonderful mother to my kids' cousins Evan and Calum, and Casey her BFF and a very great mother of triplet girls. My journey though is a little, well a LOT different from theirs.
On Thursday, July 31, 2008 I was told I have stage zero breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy a week before that for a lump and what was originally thought of as pre-cancerous cells. I will now have to have more surgery and radiation treatments and take pills for 2 years. More on that later when I get more information. My dr. is gone until the 15th and I will find out more details then.
This started in May when I had an itch on my boob. LOL Yes, of course I scratched it and when I did I felt something funny. At first I thought it was a mosquito bite but when I pushed harder I could tell it was much much more than that. So I made me an appointment with Kaiser where I had a mammogram and a ultrasound on May 21st in Modesto. After all this was done and the radiologist went over the reports (the MALE radiologist) he said yes, something was there (duh!) but with my age and their being no history of breast cancer in my family there was really nothing we should do about it. He said we should check back in 6 months. When I questioned that, he said we could check back in 3 months. I begrudginly agreed and left for home. Thinking back I should have asked him what he would have done had he found a strange lump on one or both of his nuts, but you know, hindsite and all. LOL
All the way home I had this nagging feeling in my stomach that this just wasn't the right thing to do. So the next day I discussed it with my friend/supervisor Peggy. She said if I wasn't comfortable I should do what I felt was right. So I get on the phone and make another appointmnet. This would set me off on a journey with people who I finally felt were understanding and wanting to help with my heath. The nurse practicioner who set me up with Dr. Grace Tay my surgeon. I feel I was led to her by some higher power because she was understanding, is pleasant, and very funny.
I finally did a needle biopsy and waited for the results. I was told it would be a week. Well 5 days later I get my results and was told it was not cancer but pre-cancerous cells that would need to be removed. This relieved me somewhat... But surgery!!! That freaked me out a bit, but I want to be healthy.
Well on Thursday, July 24, 2008 I go to Kaiser to have my lumpectomy. The whole experience went great as far as surgery can go. The desk clerks at the outpatient OR department were great. I had my own personal nurse Marie. She was a hoot!!! She made me feel so comfortable, she explained everything she did before she did it, she made me so comfortable, she told me stories to keep my mind of what was going on and kept me generally relaxed. And most people who know me know that I HATE dr.s and hospitals in general and am rarely relaxed even when it was just to take my kids to a routine appointment.
I'm admittedly not too good with asking for help or with bothering people with something when I think I can deal with it myself. I am very independent and that has helped me through so much in my life. It's hard to let go of that and be what I consider "needy". So I don't think I will do that. LOL But I do feel I have to have an outlet of some type, so that is what this will be.
Well this is very long so I'm going to finish up and continue later. Please visit my blog as much as you want and don't hesitate to comment. I have a journey that I am embarking on and I'm hoping blogging it will be cathartic for me and just give me an outlet to what I'm going through. So join me and see where it leads....
On Thursday, July 31, 2008 I was told I have stage zero breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy a week before that for a lump and what was originally thought of as pre-cancerous cells. I will now have to have more surgery and radiation treatments and take pills for 2 years. More on that later when I get more information. My dr. is gone until the 15th and I will find out more details then.
This started in May when I had an itch on my boob. LOL Yes, of course I scratched it and when I did I felt something funny. At first I thought it was a mosquito bite but when I pushed harder I could tell it was much much more than that. So I made me an appointment with Kaiser where I had a mammogram and a ultrasound on May 21st in Modesto. After all this was done and the radiologist went over the reports (the MALE radiologist) he said yes, something was there (duh!) but with my age and their being no history of breast cancer in my family there was really nothing we should do about it. He said we should check back in 6 months. When I questioned that, he said we could check back in 3 months. I begrudginly agreed and left for home. Thinking back I should have asked him what he would have done had he found a strange lump on one or both of his nuts, but you know, hindsite and all. LOL
All the way home I had this nagging feeling in my stomach that this just wasn't the right thing to do. So the next day I discussed it with my friend/supervisor Peggy. She said if I wasn't comfortable I should do what I felt was right. So I get on the phone and make another appointmnet. This would set me off on a journey with people who I finally felt were understanding and wanting to help with my heath. The nurse practicioner who set me up with Dr. Grace Tay my surgeon. I feel I was led to her by some higher power because she was understanding, is pleasant, and very funny.
I finally did a needle biopsy and waited for the results. I was told it would be a week. Well 5 days later I get my results and was told it was not cancer but pre-cancerous cells that would need to be removed. This relieved me somewhat... But surgery!!! That freaked me out a bit, but I want to be healthy.
Well on Thursday, July 24, 2008 I go to Kaiser to have my lumpectomy. The whole experience went great as far as surgery can go. The desk clerks at the outpatient OR department were great. I had my own personal nurse Marie. She was a hoot!!! She made me feel so comfortable, she explained everything she did before she did it, she made me so comfortable, she told me stories to keep my mind of what was going on and kept me generally relaxed. And most people who know me know that I HATE dr.s and hospitals in general and am rarely relaxed even when it was just to take my kids to a routine appointment.
I'm admittedly not too good with asking for help or with bothering people with something when I think I can deal with it myself. I am very independent and that has helped me through so much in my life. It's hard to let go of that and be what I consider "needy". So I don't think I will do that. LOL But I do feel I have to have an outlet of some type, so that is what this will be.
Well this is very long so I'm going to finish up and continue later. Please visit my blog as much as you want and don't hesitate to comment. I have a journey that I am embarking on and I'm hoping blogging it will be cathartic for me and just give me an outlet to what I'm going through. So join me and see where it leads....
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